The Truth as a Springboard
Too often, people mistakenly think I am a proponent for ignoring the negative things in life. I would be, if that were possible. Let’s face it; ignoring some things is like having a pesky monkey in the room and pretending you just don’t see him. Does that mean he isn’t there?
I AM a proponent of focusing on what you want. The good news about negative emotions is they help to clarify what we really want. If you passionately wrote down all the things you do not want in life, the path to what you DO want would be very clear. They would simply be those things that are opposite to what you don’t want.
Trying to put a “positive spin” on something that has you really steamed is like using a wine cork to plug a dam. At first, there will be seepage. Eventually, the pressure will build and violently push the cork out in an explosion of water. You want to cause the explosion so you can direct the impact.
So, rather than try and reason your way out of a situation that truly has you down, I recommend having a “Rant & Rave” session as a way to proactively cause the explosion in a controlled environment.
Here are the ingredients of a successful Rant & Rave:
1. Egg timer
2. Pen & paper OR
3. Tape recorder OR
4. Good friend who listens well
Steps to take:
1. Make the following agreement: “When this Rant & Rave ends, I will be over this and ready for resolution. I will no longer complain about it or even discuss it with anyone, including myself.”
2. Set your timer. Depending on how long this has festered and how important it really is, set your timer for 10-30 minutes. You don’t want this to be like the long version of a sixties song that drags on and on and on (and on). You DO want to have enough time to get it all out; to say it all.
3. Let it rip. What are you sick and tired of about this situation? What REALLY makes you mad about it? What do you wish would happen (thoughts of revenge are acceptable here). Be uncharitable. Be unkind. Be petty. GET IT ALL OUT!
4. When the timer goes off, stop. If you are writing, put the pen down. If you are talking, shut-up (ooh, I’m telling mom!).
5. Do a Rant & Rave dance or something to clearly mark the ending. Whoop & holler. Do the Watusi. Better still, dance like the football players when they get a touchdown. Rip up the paper you wrote on and set it on fire in an ashtray or over your toilet. Put it through the shredder & throw confetti in the air. Celebrate – the evil demon is gone.
6. Re-set the timer for 10 minutes.
7. Answer the following questions: What are at least 3 potential solutions? Of the three, which am I ready to embrace?
8. Visualize your new life. Now that you’ve decided on a solution, take a few minutes to write or talk about what life will be like now that you’ve found a solution to this pressing issue. Spend the next 24 hours basking in this fantasy.
9. Enjoy the unfolding. A solution will happen. The Law of Attraction which states, “You attract what you focus on,” would have it no other way.
10. Celebrate the fact that you’ve become the captain of your own ship.
The truth is a remarkable springboard for what you want. The relief you feel after a Rant & Rave session is the very thing that will propel you into the air and toward that which you really want (which is opposite to that which you were raving about).
Enjoy this and use it often. You will find that a 5 minute Rant & Rave at the onset of a negative feeling will save hours, days (heck, sometimes years!) of agony caused when you ignore the pressure building up.