Waiting for THEM to Change
By Silver Rose
Waiting for THEM to Change
One of the most common questions I get asked in the workshops I deliver is, “How can I enjoy my work when those around me are so negative? They really get to me.”
Of course, no one likes MY responding question, “Are they getting to you or are you allowing them to get to you?”
Most of us had a parent or teacher who said to us (more than once, usually), “If Joey jumped off of a bridge, would YOU jump off, too?” We all understand that it would be nutty to emulate behavior that could end up getting us killed.
Well, I’ve got news for you. Stress DOES kill. So, when you emulate negative behavior of those around you, when you allow them to get to you, you are literally doing what your mother advised you not to do, lo! those many years ago. And it’s seriously detrimental to your health.
They are not “doing it to you.” You are using their behavior as an excuse to shut yourself off from the natural well-being that each and every one of us is entitled to.
If you are waiting for all those around you to behave in a way that will make you happy – GOOD LUCK ! You’ve got a very long wait.
The Law of Attraction says, “You get more of what you focus on.” By focusing on the negative behavior of others, you are attracting more of it to you. That is why there are such popular expressions like, “It went from bad to worse.” Of COURSE it did. By focusing all your attention on “bad,” it can only get “worse.” That is how the Law of
So how CAN you enjoy your work when you are surrounded by negativity? First, you might want to challenge the idea that you are “surrounded” by negativity. This is rarely true.
I am always suspicious when someone says to me, “I came in perfectly happy, and within 10 minutes I was in a bad mood listening to everyone else gripe!” If you came into work “perfectly happy,” negativity wouldn’t occur around you. It wouldn’t be a match to you.
Usually what happens is that you come in to work mildly grumpy, but willing to be happy if the right circumstances present themselves. Of course, you immediately start to notice that others are grumpy, too (remember how Law of Attraction works). It really ticks you off because (let’s be honest here) what you were HOPING is that your coworkers would be in such a good mood when you came in that you would somehow magically “catch it” and be lifted out of your own mild grumpiness. Instead, they made it WORSE! Those idiots! (A friend of mine used to joke, “I HATE those negative jerks!”)
Not that you need it (but just in case), you have full permission to be happy regardless of how others are feeling. This includes your boss, co-workers, customers,
spouses, children, gas station attendants, and bowling team members.
You have two choices about how to be happy. You can be obviously happy (and let the chips fall where they may) or covertly happy (no one but you needs to know). Either
way, you don’t need THEM to do one darn thing in order for you to be happy. They don’t have to “carry their own load,” or “stop annoying you,” or even “shape up.”
Please hear this – other people’s moods are none of your business. You’ve got a full-time job keeping yourself on an even keel. Here’s an interesting thing, though. The
more you do what you need to stay positive, the more you will attract people around you who are kindred spirits. It’s the darndest thing. It turns out that the Law of Attraction is consistent. You always attract what you focus on!
One of the most difficult challenges in life is allowing yourself to be happy
when those around you are not.