Happy Or Right? How To Be Both

You are watching a television movie about an “everyday Joe” who lives in, say, Ohio. As you watch the details of his life and the circumstances over which he has triumphed, you are filled admiration. Strangely, although his life parallels your own successful struggles almost exactly, you don’t see the resemblance.

The reason you don’t is because you are being shown this person’s end results, tied up in a neat package in just two hours. You are unaccustomed to focusing on results, particularly your own. Instead, you focus on your negative internal dialogue—full of self-doubt and recrimination.

Consider what you may be overlooking.

You are an amazing person, but you overlook your greatness. Instead of celebrating your progress, you believe you are somehow not living up to your potential. If you were smarter or better looking or worked harder, you think, then you would be deserving of admiration.

The Law of Attraction says, “You attract what you focus on.” The most difficult aspect of this concept to grasp is that you cannot get from other people what you won’t give to yourself. It isn’t that other people aren’t trying to give it to you—it’s that you cannot see or hear it when they do.

When I was four years old, I decided I was stupid. I carried this belief inside until the age of 28. Oh, I pretended otherwise. I never missed an opportunity to show off how smart I was. Ask yourself, “What kind of person has to continually prove that she’s smart?” The answer is: someone who’s terrified she’s stupid.

Back then, I seemed extremely self-confident in my knowledge and opinions. Had I been genuinely so, I would not have become defensive whenever my beliefs were challenged. I would never back down—to do so meant revealing my stupidity.

If people told me I was smart; I thought they were being nice. If they validated my knowledge; I couldn’t hear it. All I could see or hear were suggestions that I might not really be so smart. Why? Because they confirmed my worst fear.

And, of course, the Law of Attraction ensured that I drew around me plenty of challengers. I vividly remember times when, having been challenged about something I’d said, my cheeks would grow red with humiliation and I could feel fear and anger burning inside.

Finally, I was fortunate to participate in a workshop that presented me with the following dilemma: Would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy?

I realized I had been “being right” about my supposed stupidity. Once I saw this, I took action. Thinking I was stupid was an unconscious decision. I decided to make a conscious choice to see myself as highly intelligent. (Well, why not?) Soon, I was looking for proof of my intelligence with the same zeal as I had previously looked for evidence of my stupidity.

You may be thinking, “What does this have to do with me?” Well, what are you “being right” about?

Look at what kind of evidence you regularly gather to support your points of view. Are you amassing and brooding about telltale hints that “prove” your boss is out to get you? Do you have a collection of personal stories that prove you’ll never get ahead? Do you entertain your friends with anecdotes demonstrating how unlucky you always are?

“So what’s the harm in that?” you ask. Remember, you attract what you focus on.

If you only have eyes for people looking at you with pity, that’s assuredly all you’ll see! If you seek out people who are giving you looks of admiration, you’ll find them, instead! The Law of Attraction guarantees it.

Believe it, and you’ll get to be right AND happy! Take it from me, happy is better!

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