Focus: Your Super Power
There is a force at play in your life called the Law of Attraction dictating that you get more of what you focus on. As with anything, this can be a gift or a curse depending on what you do with it.
A wonderful example of people using focus to their advantage are hospice workers—gentle souls whose job is to help those who are dying do so with dignity and as little pain as possible. Some of you are thinking, “That must be so depressing.” Most hospice workers don’t think so. It may surprise you to know that some of the happiest folks you’ll ever meet do this kind of work every day and consider it a gift. Some are even volunteers who show up in spite of lack of pay.
How can that be? The workers who thrive in the hospice environment have learned to control what they focus on. They understand the problem—that death comes to us all. They choose to focus instead on the solution—making this inevitable journey as easy as possible for patients and their families.
There are circumstances in your life that are just as inevitable as death—if you’re missing a leg, for example, you are not going to grow another. If you don’t have a propensity for math, you probably won’t develop one and, if you were born in 1953, all the grumpiness in the world won’t make you a Gen-Xer—you’re a Baby Boomer! Accept it! And yet, we persist in getting upset about things over which we have absolutely no control; none. If you doubt me, watch what happens the next time there is extreme weather. People all around you will react as if it someone planned it specifically to inconvenience them.
On what are you choosing to focus? Check in right now with your body. Are you tense and stressed out? Figure out what you’re focused on—the problem that is causing these negative feelings. Once you’ve figured out what’s at the heart of the matter, then figure out what you’d rather focus on—the solution.
Like those hospice workers, what we all share in common is the ability to choose how and where we focus—on the problem or the solution. Put your full attention on the solution and watch the magic happen.
Think about it. What percentage of your co-workers do you really enjoy working with? 70%? 85? 98? And yet, the majority of your attention is paid to that one worker who drives you crazy. Not only do you waste precious time from your work day plotting her demise, you recruit others into your campaign (“Isn’t she a witch?”) As if that weren’t enough, you bring her home to share with your family over the dinner table. If your family went with you to a company picnic, hers would be the name they instantly recognize.
You probably have a co-worker you thoroughly enjoy working with and to whom you are close. Does your family know his name? In other words, do you talk about the good times or only complain about the bad?
Here’s the truly tragic part—we whine and complain about these negative experiences as a means of getting closer to those we love when in reality, it’s one of the worst things we could do to them. You are feeding them poison—not enough to kill them, only enough to make them as uncomfortable as you are.
This dynamic brings new meaning to the phrase, “Misery loves company.”
Sharing your negative experiences is an invitation for others to join you in focusing on the negative (after all, they don’t want to be rude by walking away!) The more they “go there” with you, the more you are helping them to attract other negativity into their lives. Santa Claus you ain’t!
Make it your practice to share triumphs with those you care about, including that good looking person you see in the mirror! The more you practice focusing on solutions, the more quickly things will be resolved in your life. Wouldn’t you rather use your super power for good rather than evil?
