The Big Mirror

Have you stopped to notice that the events impacting your life are a mirror of your internal feelings? Have you ever had a great day when you feel awful or a bad one when you feel great? It can’t happen.

Did you wake up grumpy this morning? I promise you will encounter other grumpy people throughout the day. Are you feeling optimistic? You’ll see that reflected in people and events around you.

The Law of Attraction dictates that you attract more of what you focus on. If you want to know whether you’re focused on something you want or something you don’t want, simply pay attention to how you feel. When you experience any negative emotion, it is a clear and dangerous-to-ignore signal that if you continue to stay focused on whatever’s making you feel bad, you are not going to like what shows up.

This is a difficult concept if you have been taught to deal with emotions as they occur. Does it seem like I’m advising you to ignore or bury negative emotions? On the contrary, they have important messages for you. Each is your indicator that you are headed down a path with a final destination you will not like. If you ignore this initial indication, don’t worry—the signal will get stronger (and more unpleasant). If, instead you are committed to feeling good, you will pay attention and use this signal to inspire you to reverse the direction of your thoughts.

So how do you do that? No matter what you are told, you cannot go from despair to joy in a 10 seconds flat (unless there are drugs involved and who can afford that?!?) Do not attempt to “get happy.” Instead, go for relief.

For example, if you are feeling low, you might use self-talk to get angry. Anger is relief from depression. If you are angry, work on moving up the scale to annoyance. As you use self-talk and focus to gain some relief from whatever negative emotion you are feeling, you are also reversing your direction. Instead of spiraling downward, you are now spiraling up. The Law of Attraction works in either direction, wouldn’t you rather use it to move toward feeling better rather than worse?

Another way to express how the Law of Attraction works is: you get what you expect. Have you noticed that people who constantly worry about being taken advantage of have a collection of stories about when and how it has happened? Human beings would rather be right than happy so when you expect something you will get it, I promise. Isn’t this a great argument for expecting good?

It can be difficult to swallow the idea that we have anything to do with what shows up in our lives. It is much easier to blame circumstances on people (if my boss were only different), places (if I lived somewhere different) or things (if the government would only take action). When you blame, your focus is on being a victim and do you really want to attract more of that?

I am a huge admirer of the 12-step programs of addiction recovery. Members, many who are seemingly victims of their addictions are encouraged to accept the fact that they are powerless over people, places and things and that trying to control them will only result in more addictive behavior. That powerlessness is true for all of us. One major thing over which we do have power is the direction of our thoughts and our focus. Once you learn this and begin to put it into daily practice, life becomes easier to live.

The 12-step movement encourages participants to focus on living sober lives. This is distinctly different from focusing on not drinking (or using or eating). When you’re focused on trying not to act out an addiction, you are only going to attract more what you are focused on—the addiction. If instead you focus on the solution, that is what you attract. It is the secret behind the tremendous success of the 12-steppers—they harness the Law of Attraction.

The next time you are inspired to look at what life is reflecting back, ask yourself, “Where am I focused that has caused this to show up?” The more you ask, the better you’ll get at using the Law of Attraction to your advantage. Once you do that, you are truly going to like what you see in that mirror.

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