Give to Yourself

It’s hard to believe we are wrapping up the first decade of the new century. Time flies and it seems to have little to do with whether we are having fun.

As we move into the first year of a new decade (I like that—it makes it seem so dramatic!) it seems an opportune time to consider what we want to attract into our lives.

One of the most profound lessons I’ve learned as I’ve studied how to apply the Law of Attraction to my life is that you must give whatever it is you want to get.

For example, I hear many complaints about bosses who are poor managers. “My boss never tells me when I’m doing something right but is very quick to point out when I’ve done something wrong,” is a common lament. I’ve no doubt that’s true. We are a society that is more comfortable pointing out problems than focusing on what’s going right. If this is one of your complaints, take a moment to answer this question, “How often do you point out to yourself the things you are doing right?” Do you pat yourself on the back regularly or are you always chiding yourself about procrastination, mistakes and your work performance?

You cannot attract something you won’t give to yourself!

Keep this in mind as you venture forth into the new year. What is it that you want more of in your life and how can you give it to yourself?

Do you want more respect? Then take a look at whether you are practicing self-respect. For example, let’s say you find that people are late to appointments with you, cancel at the last minute or don’t show up at all. There’s a good chance that you don’t keep the appointments you make with yourself. If you tell yourself you’re going to exercise, do you keep that appointment or do you allow other things to get in the way? When you take a vacation day from work do you use it to relax or are you still working? Others won’t keep their word with you until you keep your word with yourself.

You cannot attract something you won’t give to yourself!

Like most people, I want to be recognized for the value of my work. If I don’t first recognize it myself, then accolades are unlikely to show up. I’ve noticed over the years that the prouder I am of the work I do, the more people tell me in person or write to tell me how much they value that very same work.

You cannot attract something you won’t give to yourself!

Longshoreman-philosopher Eric Hoffer wrote, “You can never get enough of what you really don’t want.” I am a recovering alcoholic. When I was drinking, I could never get enough because it wasn’t what I really wanted. What I was looking for in the bottle was what I felt was missing in me. That’s true whether you use food, shopping, work, sex, drugs or rock ‘n roll. Any kind of addictive behavior is comprised of trying to fill a giant hole with something that can never fill it!

A friend of mine who is also in recovery tells the following story: I went to my counselor, very excited because I had finally figured out what my problem was—I wasn’t loved enough. Instead of offering me a comforting pat on the back, my counselor instead said, “Gary, let me tell you something. We could get the United Nations to issue a proclamation declaring tomorrow Love Gary Day. The highlight of Love Gary Day is that everyone in the world stops at noon, turns in your direction and sends waves of love to you. And it would not be enough. Addicts are the black hole of love. If you think you’re not loved enough, there is only one solution—love!”

That is Law of Attraction in a nutshell. You give what you want to get because while you are giving it, you are focused on it and you always get more of what you focus on.

This is a wonderful time of year to take a good, long look at all that we have collected—toys, friends, accolades, complaints, “stuff,” debt, etc.—and ask ourselves, “Is this what I really want?” If the answer is no, figure out what you do want and give it to yourself because you cannot attract something you won’t give to yourself.

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