Green Acres Revisited
Proving once again, that life is full of funny twists and turns, I texted some girlfriends of mine the other day to say, “A year ago I was sailing with Bill aboard a luxury yacht in the Mediterranean. This morning I retrieved eggs from a chicken coop.”
I have been spending weekends at my granddaughter’s house in Watsonville, CA and it is out in farm country. Her mother is a passionate gardener, with a large, enclosed area where she grows tomatoes, squash, lemons, apples, pumpkins and lettuce. And my granddaughter has two hens.
The funny thing is that I don’t prefer one lifestyle over the other. The only reason I might prefer the yacht is that Bill was with me. Now that he’s gone, my life continues to be flavored by what I choose to focus on. And, when I’m in farm country, I focus on the beauty of the rolling hills and the lush crops. (There was one day when they were fertilizing the crops that was a “focus challenge” but I found that breathing through a handkerchief is a big help!)
When your life is in flux, which mine most definitely is, the ability to choose what you focus on is the best tool in your kit. If I allow my mind to get ahead of itself, projecting into an unknown future, I feel despair. If instead, I focus on the good people and wonderful surroundings, then I can relax and breathe again.
Grief is teaching me lessons, important ones. For one, life is short. We all say it but, when you have lost a loved one, you understand that old saying on a much different level.
Being rich doesn’t solve anything except being poor. Bill and I had many wealthy friends. They have the same personal issues as those of us who are not wealthy and I am here to tell you, it is not the bed of roses that I had imagined. Probably the most difficult thing to face when you are wealthy is that money cannot solve everything. When you don’t have it, you imagine that it can but it’s a fantasy. Bill would have sold everything he had to beat his cancer. It would not have mattered.
Love is all that matters. It’s the only thing you can take with you because love is energy, not material. Bill was sent onto his next adventure filled with the love of so many whose lives he touched.
So thank you all for the love you have so freely expressed in the emails you have sent. I have bundled it all and keep it in a little knapsack close to my heart.
Laura was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer the same day as Bill. That’s how we met her and Ed—in the waiting room at UCSF. Many of you who donated to Laura’s cancer fund have asked how she is doing. The answer is that she is still fighting the good fight (31 months and counting!). She has been in treatment at the Block Center in Skokie, Il thanks to donations from wonderful people like you. She spoke at Bill’s Celebration of Life service in August and it was moving. And every time I am with the two of them, my love for them and their spirit grows.
Tuesday Laura went in for surgery to remove a large mass. In the room with her was a crowd of cheering angels—those here on earth and those who have transitioned. I told her Bill would be in the surgical suite encouraging the doctor to do her very best work. Well, it worked. She got through the surgery with flying colors. All prayers and white light for her recovery are welc
Hugs and loads of love,