Where’s the energy coming from?

qouteI saw the posting to the left from LifeHack.org this morning and it got me thinking.

Sometimes we think it’s the other person who is the problem when, in fact, what we focus on about that person is creating the negative energy.

I say this because the Law of Attraction says, “You get more of what you focus on.” When we focus on what bugs us about another person, or what they are doing wrong, guess what we get more of?

EXACTLY! We attract more of the very behavior that is driving us crazy!

I have, from time to time, separated myself from people who were problematic.  This happens whenever I feel someone doesn’t have my best interests at heart or I don’t feel supported.  As the posting above indicates, the way I felt around them told me the connection needed to be stopped.

Then there are those from whom I have distanced myself but am still in contact with. I love these people but I judge them too harshly. They have done nothing wrong except live their lives differently than I think they should. They are not the problem, I am. I am working on this character flaw and likely will be until the day I die.

The Hippocratic oath states, “First, do no harm.” I am no doctor but I am someone who wishes to uplift, not hurt. I know you are, too. Sometimes the only way to avoid hurting is to keep your distance.

When it comes to work, the choices are not as clear-cut. Unless you quit, you can’t necessarily separate or distance yourself.  There is, however, at least one potential solution and it involves—you guessed it—focus! Most combative workplace issues happen because one person in the office thinks another should be doing something different—their job, showing up on time, etc. I always have two questions for this situation:

  1. Is this any of your business? The majority of work issues would disintegrate if we were to simply mind our own business.
  2. During the time you’re focused on what the other person is or is not doing are you being productive?

So, while there is a lot of talk these days about toxic people, it is important to figure out where the negative energy is coming from. In my case, it isn’t always them. Sometimes it’s me and always it’s because I want them to do it my way.

What about you?  Is there a relationship in your life suffering because of where you are placing your focus? What might happen if you kept your distance?

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