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Dancing With Passionate Self Care III – Rituals

Rituals are keys to Passionate Self Care. Let me give you an example, I feel wonderful when I take the time to perform the ritual of developing my action plan. I call it a ritual because it has a set pattern of components: (1) reviewing my in box, my list of action items and my emails; (2) deciding which I need or want to tackle today; (3) writing my plan; and (4) deciding which to do first.

After years of trying to find the right “formula” for this ritual, I stumbled on a relatively inexpensive online test for the Kolbe  “A” Index (www.Kolbe.com).  The Kolbe analyzes your natural work style. After reviewing my results, I came to understand that if I develop my plan at the beginning of the work day, I get bogged down in details and it kills my enthusiasm.  Instead, I develop my plan the night before so I can dive into action the moment I start work. It’s amazing what a difference one adjustment to a ritual can make.

How many grouchy or distracted people have you heard say, “I’ll be okay after my first cup of coffee”? Admittedly, the caffeine helps but the ritual of coffee is every bit as much of an energy boost. It’s usually the skipping of the ritual that has thrown them off, not the lack of caffeine.

There are rituals we depend on and rituals we’d like to develop. To exercise Passionate Self Care in your life look for rituals you want to start incorporating until they become routine. Some of the best places to look for opportunities for ritual development are in the areas around which you feel guilty. A few of mine are:

  •  Exercise
  • Dental Care
  • Keeping up with finances (bill paying, etc.)
  • Car Care
  • Filing

Can you see the opportunities for rituals?

There are also rituals we love. We don’t feel guilty if we don’t do them but we feel SO MUCH BETTER when we do:

  • Planning ahead for the weekend
  • Meditating
  • Weekly manicures (one of my favorites)
  • Leaving work at quitting time
  • Taking time for a hobby we love

Rituals give life a certain continuity, which most of us crave. They make us feel more grounded. That’s why you see professional athletes who perform the same ritual every time they begin the game. Maybe it’s superstition, or maybe they know it works.

In a world where change is constant, rituals are a way for us to feel as if we are in control.

Rituals are very comforting and the more comfortable we are, the more we attract things that are a match to that feeling. I’ve noticed, for example, that when I take the time to perform the ritual of putting together my action plan, my work goes very smoothly. It can be no other way because I’m feeling good and in control. Events and circumstances that match those feelings are the only ones I will attract. That is how the Law of Attraction works: you get more of what you focus on.

So what rituals would you like to put into place in your life? What will make you more comfortable each day and give you more of a feeling of being in control? Start today, as soon as you finish reading this.

One of the biggest steps toward Passionate Self Care:  Develop rituals that make you feel good, and practice them every day.

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Dancing With Overwhelm

Are you feeling like there is just too much to do?

Too much to learn?

Not enough time?

Join the club!

Lately, I have been keenly aware that the list of things that could, should or “it would be nice” to get done is expanding quicker than the blob grew in that horror movie of old. I realize that it’s time to get back to basics.  It’s time to remember and then utilize what has worked in the past.  And that always brings me back to the bottom-line principle called The Law of Attraction that tells us we get more of what we focus on.

Like many teachers, I’ve neglected to apply what I teach to my own life.  How embarrassing.

So when you re-read the first two paragraphs, what does it tell you about where my focus has been?  Exactly!  I’ve focused on the problem and, here’s a shock, it’s getting worse!  Where have you misused focus to add steroids to some of your own problems?

It’s such a habit this looking at the problem. And it is impossible to break a habit because, as you attempt to, where is your focus?  What works well instead is to replace the habit that’s not serving you well with a new one that will.

So what is the fastest way out of overwhelm?

The answer is to develop the habit of celebrating what we’ve accomplished, even if we don’t think it’s nearly enough.  As we celebrate the accomplishments of each day—even the seemingly trivial ones—the more accomplishments we attract.  My negative focus threw me down the rabbit hole of “not enough.” As I begin to celebrate my accomplishments (and the first one is finishing and sending this blog), instead of spiraling downward, I begin to spiral upward and it’s a much more fun ride!

So I challenge you to take two minutes and write a list of everything you’ve accomplished today so far.  Then stand up and do whatever your version is of “the touchdown dance.”

For the rest of the day, when you’ve accomplished something more, do something to celebrate even if it’s to say, “Yes!” and pump your arm for emphasis.  Watch what a different day you’ll have.

Tell me how it goes. I’d love your feedback.

I’m off to do my touchdown dance!

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