By Silver Rose
On February 1st, I set a goal for myself to lose 25 pounds. There were a number of very good reasons for me to want to achieve this goal and to date, I’m well on my way having lost sixteen.
Here is what I’ve noticed. My self-esteem has risen considerably and not for the reasons I expected. Sure, I’m happy to look better but honestly, I was so good at hiding my excess weight that most people don’t even notice I’ve slimmed down. And sure, I’m glad to feel better now that I’m eating well and working out. But those are not the reasons for my rise in self-esteem.
I wish I could tell you this is an epiphany for me but alas, it is not. I have known for some time that setting goals and sticking with them until they are achieved raises one’s self-esteem. However, like so many of us, I carry the keys to improving my life and still try to open that door by crossing my arms, blinking my eyes, and hoping it will work like it does for magical genies. That’s why so many fad solutions sell so many books – we all hope for that one plan that will allow us to do whatever we want and still achieve our goals.
So what if we went on a living plan (similar to a food plan) that will build our self-esteem? What might that look like? What if all it takes to lead a happier life and attract self-esteem is to set and achieve small goals all day long such as:
· Getting up early enough to do what we want to in the morning such as exercise, eat a good breakfast, spend time with loved ones, etc.
· Planning enough time for our commute that we get to work on time, without stress.
· Identifying at the start of each day the top 3 things we need to accomplish in order to feel we’ve had a productive day, and then doing them.
· Setting and achieving a goal to take our morning, lunch, and afternoon breaks without guilt.
· Setting a goal to get home at a certain time and getting there. (You know you’ve been bad at this if your family says, “You’re home early. What’s wrong?” )
· Setting a goal to be at work when you’re at work and at home when you are home and not the opposite, and sticking to it.
The point is, in addition to striving toward and achieving new goals, you want to also take emotional credit for the goals you set and achieve each day as a matter of course. And celebrate the achievement! Too often, our focus is on what we haven’t done versus what we have. That would be fine if it weren’t for The Law of Attraction which says, “You attract what you focus on.” The longer you stay focused on what you haven’t done, the more things to be done you are attracting!
Now, maybe you think your self-esteem needs no improvement. That’s a little bit like humility – if you think you’ve got it, you don’t. It’s the same with strong self-esteem. Those who have it work to keep it and would never say, “This is good enough.”
If you’re looking for a reason to build your self-esteem, try this one: most stress is a self-esteem issue. The majority of stress comes from feeling out of control and like we have no say in what is impacting our lives. In other words, although most of us would never admit it, when we are stressed, we feel as if “the world is doing it to us.”
But if we are “doing it” to ourselves, if we lack the self-esteem and self-respect to achieve the goals we have set, how can we demand respect from the rest of the world? The Law of Attraction deems that impossible.
Set small goals. Achieve them. Celebrate. Attract more self-esteem. Set additional small goals (they’ll be a bit bigger than the last ones). Achieve them. Celebrate. Attract even more self-esteem. You’ll cast a wide net within which you will attract all the self-esteem you deserve.