How to Win Friends and Influence People
by Dale Carnegie
When I was in the ninth grade, I ran for student council and was desperate to win. I had an ulterior motive: I wanted to be as popular in school as my older brother Dennis, because I thought that was why he was my father’s favorite.
As the saying goes, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.” I came upon Carnegie’s book and one of the principles that changed my young life—Principle 3: “Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”
I memorized the names of all my classmates and began to call them each by name whenever we met in the hallway, in class, or outside school. It worked! I was elected a student council member!
More important, I realized that people’s names are indeed music to their ears—and that you can learn success strategies from books! The latter discovery is responsible for all that I have become or will become.
Many years later, I continue to use this wonderful book as a reference tool. First published in 1936, it remains one of the best books on human relations ever written.
Favorite insight from the book: Always make the other person feel important.
Learned Optimism – How to Change Your Mind and Your Life
by Martin E.P. Seligman, Ph.D.
Until I read this book, what I knew about optimists and pessimists was pretty much encapsulated in such jokes as: “An optimist is a 90-year-old who marries and looks for a house near a school.”
Don’t let the title of this book fool you: it’s not “rah-rah” for positive thinking. Seligman paints a balanced picture based on years of research and does not encourage optimism when your circumstances demand pessimism. Nonetheless, his professional study of helplessness and ways to enlarge personal control leads him to argue strongly for the overall benefits of optimism.
Because I focus on fostering happiness in the workplace, I particularly enjoyed the chapter “Success at Work.” In it are real-world examples of the usefulness of both optimism and pessimism on the job. You could argue, for example, that the top executives at Enron were much too optimistic for their own good, not to mention that of their employees and stockholders! On the other hand, who wants to work for a doomsayer boss?
Favorite insight from the book: The genius of evolution lies in the dynamic way that optimism and pessimism constantly correct each other.
Change Your Brain, Change Your Life – The Breakthrough Program for Conquering Anxiety, Depression, Obsessiveness, Anger, and Impulsiveness
by Daniel G. Amen, M.D.
My daughter’s ADD therapist recommended this book to me, and I have found it a gold mine of tips and techniques for handling many of life’s larger obstacles. If you or someone you know suffers anxiety, depression, obsession, anger, or impulsivity, this book provides solid tools for soothing the pain.
Some of Dr. Amen’s best recommendations are:
- Kill The ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts)
- Focus On What You Like A Lot More Than What You Don’t Like
- Learn To Deal With Conflict
Favorite insight from the book: Focusing on the negative aspects of others or of your own life makes you more vulnerable to depression and can damage your relationships.