By Silver Rose
Where is your focus?
Sometimes we just forget. We revert back to old habits. I’m not sure why. I just know that, to my mind, one of the great mysteries of life is why, when we know what works and what to do, we just do not do it.
Take focus, for example. If you accept the premise of the Law of Attraction, that says, “You attract more of what you focus on,” then why would you focus on anything other than what pleases you? And yet, we do. I do. You do. Even Pollyanna had her bad days.
Today I am inviting you to take a long, hard look at where your focus has been lately. Hint: if you’re not sure, look at what is in your life. That will tell you where your focus has been.
If you are aware, on a daily basis, of how fortunate you are, then I suspect you’re living a good life. If, on the other hand, you’ve been preoccupied with all the things you do not have, then I suspect, you’re missing a good many of those things.
One of the wonderful benefits of writing this column each week is that it forces me to take a look at what’s going on in my own life. Lately, I’ve noticed that my focus has not been something that…well, shall we say, I wouldn’t be proud to tell you what it has been.
I found I had slipped back into looking at what’s NOT working instead of what is. And you know what? I noticed that a whole lot more than usual is not working. (As my kids would say, “d-uh!”)
So again, I invite you to take a look at where you are focused and read just. If your television was wavy and had poor picture quality, would you just sit there and suffer? Or would you adjust the antenna until it was coming in clearly? (Or, these days, call your cable company to do so.)
Life is like that television picture. You can either put up with what you are getting or you can decide to adjust your own antenna until you are receiving what pleases you versus what you can get.
Here are some things I have started to focus on. You have my permission to “steal” any of them and make them your own:
· Mornings: I celebrate the quality of the foundational things in my life such as: the shower I get to take every morning that feels wonderful, the fluffy towel I get to use to dry off, the toothpaste that tastes so wonderful as it cleans my mouth, the clothing I get to wear, and the breakfast that I eat.
· Work: How great it is to have work, a purpose for each day and a reason to get up.
I’m grateful for the transportation that gets me there. I love the tools at my disposal such as the telephone and the computer. I’m glad to have the talent to do the work. I’m delighted to have people to do the work with. My motto: “Adults made up work as an excuse to play together.” I am playing more.
· Evenings: I have a home to go to. I have entertainment there in the form of books, games, a stereo and a television. I have 2 cats waiting patiently for me (okay, they’re cats – they wait IMpatiently – or really could care less as far as I can tell!) There is food for me to eat. And it is warm. I get to retire to a cozy bed and I am safe.
· My life in general: Hey! No parents to tell me what to do! If I want to eat ice cream for breakfast, I can do it! Remember when you couldn’t wait for THAT to happen?
Mostly, I am grateful for the awareness to BE grateful. I know lots of people with many blessings who don’t know it. And I know many people with limited blessings who think they’ve got it all.
It’s all about focus. Where do you want yours to be?
By Silver Rose
My friend Michelle has a very strong ability to attract what she wants when she puts her mind to it. I’ve watched her decide to make enough money to buy a new car and have the events unfold exactly the way she envisioned them. I’ve seen her buy incredibly expensive furniture for her home office at 1/5th the price of what anyone else would be charged, and have it delivered for free!
One time, I even witnessed the following: she told me the kinds of towels and rug that would be perfect for her bathroom. She described the patterns, what color the “edges” would be, and how much she wanted to pay. That same week, she walked into a linen store, described for the clerk what she wanted and the clerk walked her over to the PERFECT items, just as she had described them. Of course, they were on sale.
So, when Michelle starts one of her new “games,” I pay attention.
This year, Michelle is playing a game called, “Magical Moments.” She is tracking magical moments as they occur in her life.
Remember, the Law of Attraction says, “You attract what you focus on.” Another way to say it is, “You attract what you measure.” What do you think Michelle is attracting?
One of the most fun parts of my week is when Michelle calls me with her Magical Moments Report. Some of them are big enough to impress anyone, some of them are small. What I’ve noticed, however, is that the more her list of Magical Moments grows, the more of those moments she is having. Gee, big surprise, huh?
Big or small, Michelle delights in each and every one of them. It’s powerful when you realize and see evidence that you have control over what’s happening in your life.
Just last week, Michelle’s youngest son Matthew, old enough now to drive, had spent the night with a bunch of buddies at a friend’s house. According to Michelle, when he does that, he usually gets home around noon. Sometime around 11:30, she headed out of the house to go to the grocery store (teenage boys consume a lot of food!). As she approached a very busy intersection, she heard a group of sirens coming from the direction of the house in which her son had spent the night. As most parents would do, she offered up a simple prayer, “Please let Matthew be safe.” As she finished her prayer, she looked up and spotted her son in his car at the opposite corner. She watched in relief as several fire trucks passed by his car on the way to their work. Later that day, Michelle wrote the moment down in her book.
In a work-related moment Michelle, who is an Executive Recruiter in the Atlanta area, had booked a trip to Philadelphia to meet with some potential new clients. Because it’s her own business, she would have to pay for the trip herself. However, if she lined up some candidate interviews, she could charge the trip to a client for whom she was conducting a search. She said, “Let me get at least one interview.” She booked three. Her client was delighted to pay for the trip.
Truer words have never been written than the biblical adage, “Ask and ye shall receive.” So, too, “Be careful what you ask for,” (because you will get it). Unfortunately, most of us forget what we ask for and end up thinking we are powerless.
Magical moments are all around us if we just look for them. Unfortunately, most of the world is scanning for what they are not getting versus what they are. Make no mistake; the game of Magical Moments isn’t about noticing good things happening to you. It’s about requesting what you want and watching as the Universe lines it up for you.
Don’t wait to play this game. If you don’t have a small notebook, simply take a sheet of paper, label it “Magical Moments” at the top and place it in your wallet. Each time one happens, write it down. And watch the fun begin.
Wishing you the vision to see the magic…
By Silver Rose
I was pretty sick last week, for the second time in three months. Clearly, it was time to figure out what the heck is going on.
You see, I believe our physical well-being is a direct reflection of emotional well-being. When my body had a break-down last week, I knew I must have received numerous warning signals in the form of emotional messengers. I had simply ignored them. When you ignore emotional messengers telling you that “all is not well,” they just intensify. What starts out as a mild annoyance can turn into the flu if you don’t pay attention at the beginning.
Emotional Messengers fall into two categories: negative and positive. If you think about it, those are the only two emotions we have. We have a variety of labels for the subtle nuances – sad, angry, blue, annoyed, self-justified – in the end, those are all negative emotions.
When I was sick in bed, I began to examine my life and to gain some insight into when and how I allowed the negative emotions to gradually take over until I had to get sick in order for them to gain my attention.
I call the state I was living in, “Creeping Tolerations.”
What are creeping tolerations? They are those little things we let slip, convincing ourselves that we can tolerate them when, in point of fact, they are very slowly, like the drip-drip-drip of water torture, driving us out of our minds!
For me, they were things like:
· Getting caught up on my tax situation
· Closing out 2003 financial records
· An office that was messier than I’m comfortable with
· A car in desperate need of a wash
· A body that needed to be exercised more regularly
There are many more, but you get the picture.
Toleration is not acceptance. If I had accepted what was on my list, there would have been no water torture and no illness. I could have gone about my business, knowing I’d get to them when I could. But I pretended to accept them when, in fact, I was merely tolerating them, a victim, thinking I had no other choice. Have you ever noticed that, during those times of your life when you feel like a victim, you are less healthy, mentally and physically?
In my experience, what we tolerate defines the quality of our lives. Some of us settle for only the best, some of us are content with a middle-ground, and others tolerate less than what we want, thinking it’s all we can have.
When we tolerate less than what we want in any aspect of our lives, we are telling the Universe, “This is what I’m willing to have – nothing more.” And the Universe always gives you what you ask for, not what you need.
So, if you are experiencing any dis-ease, be it of the body, mind or spirit, take stock. What are you tolerating, pretending it’s not bothering you? With what are you putting up? Whatever it is, it’s not worth your life. Your life is made up of seconds. Every second robbed is a piece of life given up. Take yours back. I plan to.
By Silver Rose
Moving Confidently Toward Your Future
The single biggest thing that prevents us from harnessing The Law of Attraction to full advantage is self-protective doubt. When what we desire is particularly important to us, we fearfully wonder, “Can this really happen?”
Because we don’t want to experience disappointment, we tell ourselves all the reasons it probably will not come to pass. Then, when it doesn’t, we don’t feel badly because we had already decided it was beyond our reach.
Unfortunately, what has actually happened is that our self-protection has kept from us the very thing we want.
Remember, The Law of Attraction says, ‘You attract more of what you focus on.”
At first, when the desire for something surfaces, we get very excited about what it will be like to have it. We picture how our life will be when it arrives. We imagine sharing it with others. We even make plans for how often and when we will enjoy it.
In our excitement, we are attracting it to us, and rapidly, because our full focus is on having it. The most powerful emotional state for attracting what you want is that of passion. Passion comes from strongly wanting something and just as strongly knowing it will be yours.
It is easy to be passionate, for example, about a vacation we’ve planned and have already paid for. The reason it’s so easy is because we know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that it’s going to happen. Something we want very much will soon happen, and we are excited.
However, suppose there is something you strongly crave, and there is no evidence that you will get it. Perhaps you want a promotion at work and you don’t even know if one is available. What most of us do under those circumstances is “face reality,” which means we don’t allow ourselves to want it too much in case it doesn’t happen.
The most satisfying use of The Law of Attraction is to clearly identify what you want and then move confidently toward your future, knowing that it is there, waiting for you.
What are some of the goals you have that you can decide, right now, are GOING to happen (not “might” or “could” but going to)?
· The successful completion of an important project
· That promotion you want
· A new skill you want to acquire
· A college degree
· A good performance review and subsequent raise
· The necessary revenue coming into your organization
Just as we have confidence that every romance novel and Disney children’s movie has a happy ending, have the same confidence as you move toward the fruition of your goals. SEE them in your mind’s eye, KNOW that they are going to happen, and relax.
They will come to you, more easily than you ever dreamed possible.
You cannot struggle your way to a happy ending (despite what those romance novels and Disney movies portray). The way to attract your own happy ending is by setting your sights for what you want and then moving confidently toward your future.
By Silver Rose
We hear the stories every day. Some are people we know and cherish; others are strangers on the 6:00 news. They are ill, often struggling with life and death issues.
It happened to me yesterday. A friend told me of his struggle with MS. Suddenly all my “problems” disappeared from consciousness.
Erma Bombeck gave the gift of laughter to the world. Here is what she had to say:
IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER
by Erma Bombeck
(written after she found out she was dying from cancer).
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the ‘good’ living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, “Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.” There would have been more “I love you’s.” More “I’m sorry’s.”
But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute…look at it and really see it . live it and never give it back. Stop sweating the small stuff.
Don’t worry about who doesn’t like you, who has more, or who’s doing what. Instead, let’s cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.
In other words, Erma would have focused on the good, downplaying the bad.
The Law of Attraction says, “You attract that which is a match to how you are feeling.”
Don’t wait for 20/20 hindsight. What will you start doing differently – TODAY?
Start living your life with the joy of a small child.
If you have your health, enjoy every bit of it. If you are ailing in some way, enjoy what you can – the sun on your face, the sound of laughter, the music of nature. Joy is why we are here and it is all around us. Grab some. It’s free.