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How to Program Your Crystal Ball
Close your eyes and think of a person in their late seventies. Who did you think of? When I took Anthony Robbins’ CD-course The Time of Your Life, he challenged his listeners to do this. I instantly thought of my friend Jill. At age 76, she is in great physical shape, fashionable and has a wicked sense of humor. Imagine how pleased I was with my choice when Robbins declared, “Whatever you visualized is where you’re headed.” If you envisioned someone hunched over and shuffling, that’s where you’re headed. If you saw someone in a hospital bed with tubes shoved up his nose, guess where you’re going? If you envisioned Jack LaLanne or John Glenn, both over 80 and in great shape, then that’s where you’re headed.
When you peer into your crystal ball, predicting what your future holds, do you see a wondrous reality or your worst nightmare come true?
For many of us, “future-tripping” means that we are frightened and worried about lies ahead. That’s unfortunate because the way the Law of Attraction works is that you get more of what you focus on.
If, for example, you’re worried about holding onto your job, it would serve you well to shift that focus. You can do it through visualization, if you like, because your brain does not know the difference between pretend and reality. If you start to act as if you’re secure, you will be and it may not have anything to do with your current job. What I mean is you may work for an organization that has strict rules—last one hired, first one laid off. There’s nothing you can do to shift that so, when you visualize your future, picture yourself working but do not limit it to your existing job. It could be an even better one!
If you don’t believe visualization is enough, then for you it will not be. In that case, what you want to do is take whatever action is necessary for you to feel as employable and secure as possible:
• Find out which software skills employers are hiring for and learn the appropriate computer programs.
• Do research to find other organizations or industries that could use your specific skills. Apply for jobs even if you’re not currently looking. It is good practice and a bit like saving for a rainy day. By the way, most people who have thriving careers do this on a regular basis.
Whatever aspect of your life you’d like to improve, it is important for you to “act as if” you’ve already achieved the growth you want. When you do, you are utilizing the Law of Attraction to your advantage. It’s important that you manage your mind to focus on what you want. We have pretty much perfected our ability to focus on what we don’t want and we’ve seen where that has gotten us so far.
Using your powers of fantasy, daydream about how life will be when you get “there.” Remember, your mind doesn’t differentiate between pretense and reality so, while you are feeling like you have arrived at your desired destination, you will naturally attract whatever supports your dream.
When you develop the picture of what it will be like when you have arrived, go into as much detail as possible:
• What are you wearing?
• Who is around you?
• What do you see as you look around? Is it day or night? Are you indoors or
out?
• To whom do you need to send “thank you” notes?
• How did you get there?
The journalist’s formula of covering the details of who, what, when, where, why and how will help you with this.
We all have a crystal ball—it’s called our mind and you are continually programming your future. Do you like what you see? If not, you have the power to change it. Isn’t that great?
Let the Energy Flow!
As I look around at others and also into my own life, I notice that many of our problems may boil down to a simple blockage—a blockage of energy.
Allow me to explain. All day, every day you and I are summoning life energy through our desires. Every time we notice something that we don’t like, we immediately put in a silent request to the powers-that-be for the opposite. This contrast between where we are and where we want to be is what summons the energy of life. When people give up wanting, they quickly become depressed because they have stopped summoning all but the slightest amount of life force.
Haven’t you noticed that your desire for more money is strongest when you are going through a financial crisis? A cry for health is emitted not when we are already healthy but when we fall ill. And sadly, we fervently wish we could shower loved ones with affection often after they’re gone and it’s too late.
The gap between where you are and where you want to be is where creativity occurs. Your life has everything to do with your own creativity—that desire you were born with to do better and have more.
When you have great desire and you don’t let that energy through, it’s called resistance. It starts out small, maybe a little impatience or a tiny ache behind your eyes. If we don’t do something about it, then the symptoms get stronger. We move into full blown frustration or an actual headache. The more we ignore the signals that tell us we are not allowing the energy we have summoned, the stronger the negative impact.
These thoughts were triggered because I’ve been having problems with my back for the last three days which coincides with having delivered three all-day workshops. I love delivering programs and I had a lot of fun and so did the participants. But, as I look back, I realize that I was letting far less energy flow through me than what I was summoning. Afraid to be too “out there” with my audience, I unconsciously ratcheted things back a notch or two so as not to “look foolish.” What a shame. Not only did I end up with back problems, I also know that I could have delivered even better workshops had I opened the spigot all the way.
Is that what holds us back? Looking foolish? That’s why some people resist the energy. For others it is fear of being disappointed again. What if I give it my all and it doesn’t work out? So we mistakenly believe that “not getting our hopes up” keeps us safe when the opposite is true. By not letting the energy flow, we pretty much guarantee we won’t get what we want and, to add injury to insult, we develop aches and pains, emotional and physical.
By all means, desire much. Summon the energy. But let it through once you’ve summoned it. When I look around at the elderly, I can see so clearly those who let the energy through and those who have resisted and resisted until their bodies are bent or they can barely move for the pain in their limbs. Unfortunately, we are also seeing that in younger and younger people. We block the energy through eating until we become too big to move. We block the energy through alcohol and drugs until we are in a stupor. We sit for hours in front of the television wishing we could be like those we are watching but not letting it through!
So what would life be like if you really allowed the energy you are summoning to flow freely? What if you didn’t block it by “not hoping for too much” or “being realistic?” I think the possibility was best captured by the author Souza:
dance
as though no one is watching you
love
as if you have never been hurt before
sing
as though no one can hear you
live
as though heaven is on earth
The Company You Keep
According to Daniel G. Amen, M.D. in his book Change Your Brain, Change Your Life, “Spending time with positive people is essential to the health of the brain’s deep limbic system – the bonding and mood control center.”
Who do you spend more time with than anyone else?
No, it’s not your co-workers or your family—it’s you!
So…. if YOU’RE no picnic…. perhaps you are in some trouble.
The Law of Attraction says you attract more of what you focus on. When we indulge ourselves in negative states of mind, it is more impactful than spending time with a roomful of Oscar-the-Grouch wannabes.
We all know the impact of being surrounded by negative people. How often have you thought, “Well, sure! I would be in a much better mood if it weren’t for all these grouchy co-workers!” When that thought occurs, who’s the closest grouch? It’s actually funny—you’re being grouchy about grouches!
If hanging out with curmudgeons is such a powerful influence, imagine the impact when we’re alone and the only negative person in the room is the one looking back at us in the mirror! We can’t walk away or hide. What we need to do is counteract the negativity.
How?
When you’re experiencing any kind of negative emotion, (anger, despair, frustration, impatience) the Law of Attraction guarantees that it will get worse. Remember, like attracts like. If you envision your emotions as a whirlpool, you would see that the spiral is cycling downward. The trick is to reverse the spiral so it’s moving in an upward direction. The easiest way to do this is to go for some relief. Here are some suggestions:
• Call someone who makes you happy.
• Set a timer for five minutes and have a rip-roaring rant-and-rave. When
the timer goes off, stop. I guarantee you’ll experience relief from how
you were feeling.
• Ask yourself, “How do I want to feel?” This points you in the right direction.
• Look around for something that will bring even the teeniest of smiles to
your lips.
• Go to a “feel good” movie.
• Take a nap. When you sleep, you release all negativity.
• Do something kind for someone else.
In order to attract the positive people you’d like to spend time with, it’s important that you understand how to shape your own mood. It’s always fascinating that we want other people to conduct themselves in a certain way so that we will feel better. That’s not the way it works. In order to attract people who act the way we want, we must first make sure that we are behaving in that manner. You cannot attract behavior that is different from how you are being in that moment.
So become the person you would most like to hang out with. Treat yourself the way you wish others would. Give yourself the gifts you want others to present to you. Say the kind things to yourself that you long to hear from them. In a very short time, you will notice that you are surrounded by people who are good for your deep limbic system. Your moods will be better and you will be bonding with the kinds of people you always wanted to.
That’s because you’re now the kind of person you always wanted to attract and, as a result, you’re always in good company.
Expand those Goals
Goal-setting can be a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it’s always good to be clear about what you want to create and where you want to go. On the other hand, some goals can be very limiting.
I’ll never forget Tony Robbins telling the story of a man in one of his workshops who wasn’t happy because he hadn’t yet reached his goal of $5 million net worth. He had only reached $4.5. On the one hand, he knew what he wanted to create; on the other he was limiting his enjoyment of what he had already accomplished by delaying the enjoyment of his abundance until he reached his final goal. A good goal for him might have been, “Create a net worth of $5 million and enjoy the heck out of getting there.”
We continually nod our heads when people say things like, “It’s the journey, not the destination,” or “You have to stop and smell the roses.” But how often does our behavior reinforce that? We rush around continually focused on what we haven’t accomplished instead of enjoying what we have.
The problem with doing that is the Law of Attraction which dictates that we get more of what we focus on. The more we treat the gap between where we are and where we want to be as a problem, the further away we are from reaching our goals. The gap is where all the fun is!
It’s why we so often experience a letdown when we actually achieve a goal. It was fun dreaming about it, planning how to achieve it and taking the steps to get there. Once we’ve arrived, it doesn’t feel nearly as great as we thought because the journey, not the destination, was the point.
We’re much more excited about the idea of the job we’re seeking. When we land the job, even if it’s all we thought it would be, we get used to it very quickly and begin to take it for granted.
We’re very excited about the idea of finding the love of our lives and yet, how quickly do we adjust to his/her presence?
Understanding that it’s the journey toward achieving the goal that is the point helps us to set those goals in a much more thoughtful way:
• To identify all the aspects of my dream job, enjoy the process of finding it and once I’m on the job to proactively keep it fresh and interesting.
• To run a marathon, be enthusiastic about the training, be aware of and enjoy my weekly progress and once the goal has been reached to fully appreciate what I’ve achieved and to continue to enjoy what it did for my overall health and vitality.
• To pay off my debt, enjoying the challenge, the budgeting and planning, and celebrating every milestone along the way. Once paid off, enjoying the feeling of freedom and doing everything in my power to stay debt-free
When we enjoy the progress toward achieving our goals, we reach those goals more quickly and we have fun as we do it. Because you are keeping a picture in your mind of what it will be like when you reach the goal, you are, in that moment, already there. And because your brain does not know the difference between pretend and reality, you are sending out signals that will draw to you circumstances that are a match to how you feel. That’s one of the reasons the achievement of a goal is anticlimactic—you’ve already, in your mind, arrived many times. The actual manifestation seems like old hat.
So take a look at your goals and determine whether you are limiting yourself. Do what you need to build into the goal the enjoyment of the journey.
Perhaps the best goal of all is the one I once heard my spiritual mentor Esther Hicks avow (and I’m paraphrasing here): It really doesn’t matter what goals I set because I’m busy achieving my ultimate goal of living happily ever after.
Oh, What a Relief it Is
I wish the Law of Attraction worked differently, don’t you? If only we could attract whatever we want by repeating our wish list over and over. By now I would have won the lottery, developed a killer body without doing a single sit-up and be married to Hugh Jackman.
Alas, it doesn’t work that way.
The Universe pays no attention to the words we say or think. Instead, it notices what we are paying attention to and delivers circumstances that are a match.
If I want to win the lottery because I am desperate for money, my intention might be to attract more money but my attention is not on prosperity, it’s on the lack of money. Under those circumstances I would attract more debt, not abundance. That feeling of desperation is the polar opposite of how a lottery winner would feel and therefore not a match.
Learning to manage your focus is the quickest pathway to achieving what you desire. The more fervently you focus on what you want and the more faith you have that it will be delivered, the more quickly it comes to you. Our minds, however, trip us up by telling us it cannot be that simple or by distracting us with worry (the opposite of faith).
The simplest and most effective way to manage your focus is by doing what Joseph Campbell advised us in the book of the same name: Follow Your Bliss. Do everything in your power to get happy and stay there.
Achieving happiness is not an overnight accomplishment. It is a skill you learn moment-by-moment, day-by-day and year-after-year. And you cannot go from being in despair to being happy through the snap of a finger or through repeating happiness mantras. You move from where you are to where you want to be through a process of finding relief, reaching for thoughts that make you feel better until you slowly stair-step your way to happiness.
When you are happy, you begin to naturally attract other things that are a match to that happiness.
I may not yet be rich, buff or mated to the man of my dreams but by following my bliss, I’ve made huge strides in my life. I’ll bet you have, too.
I used “follow your bliss” as the means to slowly pull out of a 30-year clinical depression. I had to learn to think better thoughts. This is a technique they use in mental health called Dialectical (or Cognitive) Behavior Therapy. In the depths of my depression, my daily focus was that of a victim. I continually looked for evidence to prove that life, starting with my childhood, had delivered to me a raw deal, that it wasn’t my fault or, on the worst days that it was ALL MY FAULT. In that state of mind, I continued to attract proof that I was right and I was miserable.
I didn’t go from depression to happiness overnight. I’m still working on it. The level of happiness I’ve achieved so far is the result of seeking thoughts that triggered feelings of relief:
• Does it feel better to think you’re a victim and feel depressed OR to get mad and want revenge? (A strange choice, to be sure, but revenge feels much better than depression.)
• Does it feel better to want revenge OR to be angry enough to take action to get better?
• Does it feel better to be angry enough to take action to get better OR to feel proud that you took action?
You can see that each step has the capacity to make you feel just a little bit better and that is the surest path to happiness. As you get better at managing your thoughts and your focus, you’ll find that the circumstances you are attracting improve, as well.
It’s like I always say, “If you want to change your life, change your focus!” Lottery ticket, anyone?